Parenting

Parenting has been a challenge for me these days.  My 2-1/2 year old is at the stage where she wants things to be the same or a certain way.  She's also trying to be a big girl by doing a lot of things by herself.  When things don't go her way, she can get quite upset, aka a meltdown.  We can usually talk her out of having a full-on tantrum as we teach her better ways to express herself and how asking nicely can go a long way.  But, she's had a couple full-on tantrums, all right before nap time.

My little little is strong-willed and she too gets upset when she doesn't get her way.  So, some days we are happy, go-lucky and other days I'm fighting off lots of whining and meltdowns.

I've been reading a book with a couple of girlfriends called Spiritual Parenting.  It has been challenging my understanding of what spiritual parenting looks like.  Moreover, it has helped me to strive to please God in my parenting and not just go by the book.

I've learned that spiritual parenting is not merely about controlling my child's behavior, and by doing so somehow she will develop a spiritual life for herself.  It's also not about having moral or obedient children because we know that well-behaved children are not necessarily spiritual children.

This book has helped me to focus more on my kids' spiritual growth and not just on their behavior.  I know that my children are still young and I may not be able to have a spiritual conversation with them for a little while.  But, I can definitely model what a relationship with God through Christ looks like.

Lately, I've been trying to do a few things:
1)  Be slow to punish behavior and spend more time explaining why certain behaviors are unacceptable or inappropriate.
2)  Be more vulnerable in front of my kids... telling them if I mess up or if I'm having a hard day.  Sometimes that means praying out loud in front of them or with them asking God for help or forgiveness.
3)  Find opportunities to pray throughout the day, like when we hear of a need or when we ourselves need a little attitude adjustment.  

So while on this journey, something happened today that melted my heart.  I told Karis that we were going to my friend's house.  She was excited because she enjoyed our last visit to her house.  However, my friend texted me and told me she wasn't feeling well.  We changed our plans and I put the kids in the car to run a few errands.  While in the car, I had to explain to Karis once again that we weren't going to my friend's house because she was sick.

A little while later as Karis and Makena were quietly playing in the backseat of the car, Karis says, "Friend sick."  She had to say it a few times for me until I understood what she was trying to say.  "Friend sick." When I figured it out, I said, "Yes, mommy's friend is sick."  She then said, "Pray?"  Of course, I jumped at the opportunity and we prayed that my friend would feel better and that her boys would be good listeners for her today.  I loved how Karis initiated praying for my friend.

That little incident spurs me on to continue this journey where I easily get off track and lose sight of my long term goal:  to raise children who know and love God and walk in the path that He has laid out for them.