Santa Didn't Come to Our House

When Karis was an infant, Derek and I briefly talked about how we would approach Santa with the kids. We decided that we wouldn't indulge our kids with Santa but tell them that he is just a part of Christmas but it's all about Jesus' birthday... something like that. As Christmas approached this year, all of the kids shows on TV were about Santa Claus. I had a feeling that Karis was learning more about Santa than I would have liked. I asked her who Santa was and she seemed disinterested and said, "I don't know" (but from the picture above, she clearly knew more than she was letting on). I knew preschool wouldn't make a big deal of Santa since it's a Christian preschool and she's been coming home with pictures of baby Jesus and wise men.  I thought we were in the clear.

Karis came home one day from preschool with a little craft activity that said, "All I want for Christmas is..."  Her teacher wrote in "a teddy bear" for her. After talking with Karis, she confirmed that that's what she wanted for Christmas. When we went to take photos with Santa, I was giving her ideas of what she could talk to Santa about. I told her to tell him that she wants a teddy bear. And so she did. 

I went to the toy store and bought a teddy bear. It was a gift from my sister to Karis. I thought for sure it would be the biggest hit of all the gifts she received. When Karis opened it on Christmas day, her eyes got real big and she said, "It's from Santa!" I quickly corrected her and said, "No, it's from Patty Emo. Santa told Patty that that's what you wanted."

Later that morning, as the girls were playing outside in the snow, Karis ran over to our next door neighbor and told her, "Santa didn't come to my house." Our neighbor gave Derek a look, feeling sorry for our child. 

Karis is still sad that Santa didn't bring her a present. She wanted a teddy bear from Santa. She gets sad when I tell her Christmas is over. She doesn't want me to take our tree down. 

I feel like I blew it! I don't want Christmas to be all about Santa but it is fun to see the wonderment of Santa in the kids. We'll have to be more prepared next year and have a different game plan ... 

Keeping Busy While Daddy is Away

Derek is away at a retreat.  Let me tell you, I was not looking forward to this weekend.  I love the weekends when he's home and I can get a little extra rest and catch up on some sleep  Well, to my surprise, I've had a lot of energy and we've been having a great weekend so far.

The night before he left, we met with our small group.  We are going through a parenting book and it challenged us to divert daily with our kids -- do something different.  Don't get stuck in the routine and the to-do's.  Parenting is a relationship.  I felt convicted about how I've been spending my time lately.

So going into this weekend, I decided I wouldn't worry about cleaning or tidying the house and making dinner.  I would just spend some quality time with the kids.  In turn, I've had a lot more energy than I usually do and the kids have been great.  Some of the things we've done include washing the van, painting toe nails, reading books and going to the park.  

I can't avoid the household chores forever (I've already had to lower my cleanliness standards and it wasn't super high to begin with!) and I can't pop a frozen pizza in the oven every night.  But it's been great for this weekend and I now realize how much of my energy is spent on chores.  I'd much rather spend that energy on my kids and moving forward, I'm going to try!  

Here are some pics of the park we went to today.

Parenting

Parenting has been a challenge for me these days.  My 2-1/2 year old is at the stage where she wants things to be the same or a certain way.  She's also trying to be a big girl by doing a lot of things by herself.  When things don't go her way, she can get quite upset, aka a meltdown.  We can usually talk her out of having a full-on tantrum as we teach her better ways to express herself and how asking nicely can go a long way.  But, she's had a couple full-on tantrums, all right before nap time.

My little little is strong-willed and she too gets upset when she doesn't get her way.  So, some days we are happy, go-lucky and other days I'm fighting off lots of whining and meltdowns.

I've been reading a book with a couple of girlfriends called Spiritual Parenting.  It has been challenging my understanding of what spiritual parenting looks like.  Moreover, it has helped me to strive to please God in my parenting and not just go by the book.

I've learned that spiritual parenting is not merely about controlling my child's behavior, and by doing so somehow she will develop a spiritual life for herself.  It's also not about having moral or obedient children because we know that well-behaved children are not necessarily spiritual children.

This book has helped me to focus more on my kids' spiritual growth and not just on their behavior.  I know that my children are still young and I may not be able to have a spiritual conversation with them for a little while.  But, I can definitely model what a relationship with God through Christ looks like.

Lately, I've been trying to do a few things:
1)  Be slow to punish behavior and spend more time explaining why certain behaviors are unacceptable or inappropriate.
2)  Be more vulnerable in front of my kids... telling them if I mess up or if I'm having a hard day.  Sometimes that means praying out loud in front of them or with them asking God for help or forgiveness.
3)  Find opportunities to pray throughout the day, like when we hear of a need or when we ourselves need a little attitude adjustment.  

So while on this journey, something happened today that melted my heart.  I told Karis that we were going to my friend's house.  She was excited because she enjoyed our last visit to her house.  However, my friend texted me and told me she wasn't feeling well.  We changed our plans and I put the kids in the car to run a few errands.  While in the car, I had to explain to Karis once again that we weren't going to my friend's house because she was sick.

A little while later as Karis and Makena were quietly playing in the backseat of the car, Karis says, "Friend sick."  She had to say it a few times for me until I understood what she was trying to say.  "Friend sick." When I figured it out, I said, "Yes, mommy's friend is sick."  She then said, "Pray?"  Of course, I jumped at the opportunity and we prayed that my friend would feel better and that her boys would be good listeners for her today.  I loved how Karis initiated praying for my friend.

That little incident spurs me on to continue this journey where I easily get off track and lose sight of my long term goal:  to raise children who know and love God and walk in the path that He has laid out for them.