Our Small Group

Derek and I are in a great small group. This group has evolved over the last couple years. The group started when we lived in Costa Mesa. It was us and the Baylors meeting every other Saturday morning. We loved starting the weekend with breakfast and good friends. While in this group, I joined a women’s group on the church campus. I met the Maruskas who recently got married and were looking for a group. They joined our group and our group moved to Irvine since the Baylors were still in Costa Mesa and we had moved to RSM. We started to meet weekly. The Galarzas were then looking for a group, so they joined us and the group then moved to our place in RSM.

The group was great when it was just two couples, but I love where it is now. I’ve been enjoying getting to know everyone on a deeper level as we share our lives, laughs and food. Not only are all of us “newlyweds,” but three out of the four couples will have their first newborn by the end of this month.

Here are a couple photos taken two weeks ago on a small group night.  We ate dinner and hung out.  We were supposed to have a group bonding time with games, but the Nintendo system was brought and we lost the guys... 

Right now we’re studying Sacred Marriage. It comes at a great time for me as things have changed since we had Karis. The study is helping me to put more focus on our marriage in the midst of the craziness. For me, I learned that it takes 7-10 years for a couple to really become and feel like one unit (that long?!).  In my mind, I thought the newlywed stage was supposed to be the best time in a marriage.  As we enter into our third year of marriage, with a child, things definitely aren't the way they were when we were newlyweds.  Instead of fretting over it and wishing things were the way they were, I now know that this different season, and the new challenges that we face, will deepen our relationship.  We've had a great first 2+ years of marriage with few trials, friction or stress.  But as the years go by and we experience a whole lot more together, we will definitely be stronger as a couple.  I am looking forward to it!

I also learned that studies show that during the child rearing stage, the majority of married couples say their levels of satisfaction with their marriage decline.  That's not to say I'm going to go with the status quo, but it does help me to set realistic expectations.  I can't expect things to be the same nor can I expect to experience wedding bliss at every turn.  Things are definitely different with Karis, so we're adjusting to one another and learning to extend more grace.  We are enjoying our new roles as parents.  I pray that we'll continue to focus on our marriage when it's so easy to just focus on Karis.  I'm thankful that our small group will help us along the way!

Blessed By Friends

Derek and I typically don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. We agreed that it feels a little forced and way too Hallmark-y. We typically find ways to serve others on that day. This year was different. Our friends around us know how crazy life has gotten since we became a family of three, and moreso in the month of February.

In the beginning of February, I went back to work part-time. I am working 30 hours a week this month. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time! I’ve been doing three 10-hour days. Any day without at least one 20-minute nap is pretty tough! 

Since we couldn’t find daycare for Karis this month, Derek and my sister have been watching her while I'm at work. Derek has been working four long work days so that he can get an extra day off.  He watches Karis two days a week while my sister from LA comes to watch her the third day.  

Derek also started his seminary class. His classes go well into the evening on Tuesdays and it’s crazy how many assignments, tests/quizzes, and papers are required of him.

All that said, it was such a blessing when our friends offered to watch Karis so we could go out. How could we say no? On Friday night, we went out for late night appetizers and desserts. We got a chance to spend some uninterrupted time together and talk about more than just “How was your day?” and “Quick, get me a burp cloth. She spit up.” On Saturday, another couple watched Karis while we went to see a movie and grabbed lunch. It was great! Thank you friends! We appreciate you! 

Why I Should Listen Better

Note: this is not to cover up that I was not thinking. But it does highlight one of the many reasons we (read Derek) should be good listeners.


Lena mentioned one night that dry erase markers work well on mirrors for quick notes. I tried it out and had been drawing arrows on the bathroom mirror to point to her belly saying, "hot momma!" and other lewd comments. Since I went away last weekend, I wanted her to know I was thinking about her while she was gone. Being the cute husband I am, I grabbed a red permanent marker and left her a love note... and another on the medicine cabinet... and another on her clothes closet mirror... one on mine... one on the 2nd bathroom mirror... one on her compact... one on the handheld mirror.... Yes, I left love graffiti on every mirror in our place. Sweet, aren't I?


It didn't hit me that I did anything wrong until I received an email from Lena that read, "Where did you find a red, dry erase marker?" Oops!

2nd Anniversary Celebration

Derek and I had dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. It was my first time there so I was very excited. We took advantage of their Summer Celebration special. Basically, lots of food for two for $89. I had the grilled shrimp and Derek had a trio of a small filet, stuffed chicken and a crab cake. We also had appetizers, sides and a dessert. Yum!

During dinner, we talked a little about how we're doing on the five purposes of marriage. We couldn't quite remember all five of them, but we definitely want to be more intentional about spending more time together in the Word and in prayer. We were pretty good about that in the first year, but it somehow has weakened in the past year. Hopefully by our next anniversary we can look back at a year of lots of prayer and spiritual connectedness to one another.

When we got home from dinner, we changed into some shorts and went for a walk. Hopefully that will be a new habit of ours. Derek has been pushing for me to take daily walks to keep my body strong and healthy during the pregnancy.