Pushing a boulder

Had a rough day Monday. With Karis' party coming on Saturday, out-of-town relatives arriving Wednesday, both cars needing maintenance, and outstanding move-in tasks, I have many things stirring in my head. I had a tight schedule on Monday with being places to pick up things and drop them off. When I ran out to lunch (actually to run errands) I had to hurry back so that someone would be in the office when an attendee arrived.

After loading a few folding tables at the office, I stopped at my friend Peter's to pick up a patio table. All things would be dropped off at my house and I'd swap cars with Lena to get the more urgent "check engine" light checked out. The patio table was about 1" too big. I couldn't get it in the trunk nor the back seat (at least with the seats folded down for the folding tables stretching from the truck) of the Hyundai. As I was processing ways to get it in the car, a stranger and her daughter approached me. In broken English, I understood she needed a jack as she had a flat tire.

My initial response, in my head, was "No way, sorry, I've got to be somewhere." And then I thought, "Is that how I would hope someone would treat Lena and Karis if they had a flat?" Then I recalled changing a flat tire with my late brother-in-law on the way to catch a flight home... we did it in about 10 minutes. It was amazing. So I thought, maybe I can quickly help this lady and still get my tasks done. We walked a half block to her car.

The tire had blown out and was off the rim. I had too use the half-turn method on my jack because the mini-van was sitting so low the handle couldn't spin in a circle. I got it started successfully and stopped before the tire left the ground (easily to loosen the lug nuts with the weight of vehicle keeping tire secured). Then thought I had better check to ensure there was a spare tire to replace the existing flat before I go through the trouble of taking the tire off. It was stored underneath the back of the van. I gave the holding mechanism one twist and it dropped down so that you can loosen and remove. Things were looking pretty good...

The short version is that with two others helping, we couldn't remove the spare nor loosen the last lug nut. The other two guys she knew and asked to help called their boss in to see if he could help with his tools. At this point, I bowed out.

I left very disheartened that I couldn't help more and that she was in no better shape than before I started to help. And I was also frustrated as now I was late to the office. For someone who likes structure and happy endings as I do, it was quite an unsuccessful day.

As I was sharing with friends later that day, many had good things to say. They definitely had a better attitude than my attitude after the fact. They applauded me for putting my needs second to be the hands of Jesus. They said I encouraged them to be more of a servant to others. I later remembered the story about pushing a boulder.

The short version is that there is a guy who is next to a big boulder at the bottom of a hill and God asks the man to push on the boulder. The man expends great amounts of energy and for a long period of time, but the boulder never budges closer to the top of the hill. The man's spirit is broken and he finally quits. Then God congratulates him for pushing so hard. The man still dejected, shares what God already knew about the boulder not moving. To which God responded, "I didn't ask you to move the boulder. I can move the boulder. I asked you to push on it. And that's what you did."

I guess I am perhaps also guilty of placing false expectations on myself. Maybe I was simply supposed to try to help her to show her that there are people out there willing to help.

Thanks for reading this lengthy post.